Wait, that guy weighs how much???

As a kid I was in a tough situation. I loved sports, but my parents didn't. They could care less about how much I scored in a game, how amazing that play I just saw was or how long I just spent working on my foul shot. They decided to try to at least act excited about sports when they were around me. They went as far as to get season tickets to probably the closest thing to professional sports in Maine, UMaine Hockey.
"Hey, would you mind trying on this Bruin's jersey and climbing inside this 6'x4' box for me?"

Now I am not a huge hockey fan by any means, but I enjoyed going to these games with my parents. There was always one thing that bothered me about the sport though. I doubt I am the first person ever to think of this, but as a kid I always wanted to know why they didn't just stick a very fat man in the goal. I mean think about it. It makes so much sense. The goalie would completely block the goal, making it physically impossible to score. Not only will it ensure your team the game but come Christmas time you won't have to hire a Santa for the kids.

Unfortunately for me, there was an article in the Wall Street Journal (that you can read here) that is an excerpt from a book by Todd Gallagher that beat me to carrying this idea out. The excerpt is a great read if you have a couple minutes. What he found out is this: if you are willing to put in the effort it can be done, but the NHL will do whatever it takes to stop it. There are no limits as to the physical size of players in the NHL, but they do have to be able to pass a physical in order to play. The major concern in all this is that the NHL does have pad size restrictions for their goalies. Realistically you cannot put any pads on a player that is big enough to fill the entire goal, meaning you have to find a person that doesn't mind getting hit with 100 mph pucks being shot at them. Definitely some medical concerns there.

When it's all said and done, this seems to be a dream of mine that will never be fulfilled. Even if you can find a goalie that meets the above requirements you would still have to find a team willing to take him on. Most teams would refuse to do this because of the "unwritten" rules of the NHL and it's teams. If a team was to do it they would also have to consider other teams retaliating, whether that be by getting a "bigger" goalie of their own, or attacking the oppositions one.

That is, of course, assuming that there is still an NHL.

~Aaron Jackson