Sunnyvale Retirement Home

With two of the games greats retiring (for now) this past week, I thought it would be good to stick them in a retirement home with each other. Let's take a look.

Brett: "Warren, want to pass me the yogurt? I can't eat my toast, I lost my dentures in one of my three MVP trophies."

Warren: "I'll give you the yogurt the day you admit to me you gave Strahan the sack record by falling down."

Brett: "Look, you better pass me the yogurt, because if you don't I will throw this salt shaker as hard as I can right at your head."

Warren: "I'm not worried, it will just get intercepted before it gets to me anyway."

Brett: "Yeah, by your stomach. It would probably just go into orbit around that thing."

Warren (attempts to jump up but is stuck in his seat): "That's it Brett. Once I get out of this seat I'm going to take you and snap you like a twig."

Brett (smiling): "Or like a Twix. You're pretty good at snapping those aren't you?"

Warren (lunging forward while still stuck in the chair): "Let's see how strong those Wranglers really are Brett. When I'm done with you you won't need any Prilosec because I'm gonna be ripping your heart out."

Brett swings a chair at Sapp, narrowly missing his head.

Warren: "That play was a gay porn play. You can't even hit me with a chair."

Brett: "Hey, just because John Madden and I are close doesn't mean you can call us gay."

Warren: "You're an idiot. That's what we call a bad play on offense or defense with the Raiders."

Brett: "Wait, you played with the Raiders? When did that happen, I thought you retired after you left the Bucs? Warren...Warren?"

Warren passes out from lack of air in his chair, slumps back.

Brett (grabbing his walker): "I can't deal with this place anymore. I'm un-retiring. I'm only 63, I've still got a few good years left. Lambeau field here I come!!!"

Brett starts to stumble towards the door, slips on Warren's chicken bones from the night before, falls on the ground and is knocked out.

Troy Aikman (walks in the door): "Man, and I thought I had a problem with concussions. Oh well...ooooh look, some yogurt."

~Aaron Jackson