The Airing of Grievances

I am going to a place I don't want to go to right now, but I feel it's necessary. With the rest of the Red Sox coasting into the all-star break like they're high school seniors going into Christmas break, I figured I should go on a Frank Costanza-Festivus tradition and air my grievances. Forget breaking out the belt, I'm getting the pole down from the crawl space in the attic.

"I've got a lot of problems with you people, and now you're going to hear about 'em."

~Terry, what the hell are you doing on nights that Wakefield pitches. In theory taking Jason Varitek out of the line up and replacing him with Kevin Cash is a bad thing and your line up appears worse. You then compound this by choosing to give Julio Lugo the same night off, and usually either Youkilis, Ortiz, Lowell or Ramirez the same night off. Thus weakening your line up for his starts by having the last three hitters in your line up looking something like 7. Crisp, 8. Cash and 9. Cora. With the slump of Jacoby Ellsbury right now, you have 4 hitters in a row that are struggling right now and the best out of them right now is Kevin Cash (gulp). STOP doing this, it killed me last night to see Wakefield out there on the mound and not to have Manny in the line up. I don't care that they're in 4th place a game in Yankee Stadium is still a big deal.

~Manny, you're not without fault either here, my major grievance with you right now is that pinch hitting display you put on last night. What gives? You stand up there and just watch three straight pitches go by from Mariano Rivera and sit back down? Are you mad because you had to take an AB last night when it was supposed to be your night off? It was just tough to watch with someone so talented.

~Julio Lugo, I'm not going to grieve against you right now, you've had enough at home games for that. For Festivus I am going to get you the Tom Emanski fielding skills video to watch during the all-star break. Watch it, use it and apply it. Done and done.

~Jacoby, you are the golden boy, we all know it. I saw you on second base during a game of this past Yankees series standing next to Derek Jeter and I couldn't help but see the similarities. You might be the Red Sox version of Jeter before long, you already have one ring, but right now you have to get on base to be effective. Bunt a little more kid, you had two bunt singles on Friday, you could do it more often. I am getting frustrated as I'm sure you are about soft ground balls that you are narrowly getting gunned out at first on. Good things happen when you get on base, but at this pace, Evan Longoria is going to beat you out for Rookie of the Year, an award I think your name was being emblazon on before the season started.

~Dice-k, throw more fastballs, I know Remy mentioned it during your last start, but I really do agree with him. Throw the change up and the fast ball and lay off the breaking stuff a little bit, until you get ahead in the count. You seem to figure this out every start when your pitch count is hovering around 75 in the 3rd inning. You're hurting the bullpen by only going 5 inning each time out, we can't be having that every 5th day, not with the way this bullpen is going.

Speaking of which,

~Javier Lopez, you could get your own column. I understand you consider yourself a bit of a left handed specialist. Well to quote Dennis Farina in Little Big League, "I hate your curve ball, because THE DAMN THING DON'T CURVE." You're a left handed specialist that last night faced one left handed hitter and gave up a game tying triple to Robinson Cano. Mike Myers you're not, I don't think I can even call you a left handed BK Kim at this point. (A little bit too harsh? Wait until I challenge him to the Feats of Strength after this column!)

~Delcarmen, Aardsma and Hansen. You boys have been my acolytes of hope this first half and I now believe that one of you could become good in the second half and something of what you're supposed to be, reliable. I'm going to do the old college orientation thing. Men, look to your left, and now look to your right. At the end of the season, one of these men are going to be in Pawtuckett. Delcarmen, throw more curve balls. Hansen throw more sliders. Aardsma, just keep heaving. And all of you, THROW MORE STRIKES!

Now if you'll all excuse me, Sean Casey, Hideki Okajima and I are going to go pull Jonathan Papelbon off the Festivus Pole on which he is dancing on.

This is the best Festivus ever!!

By the way, Jackson and I have started our very own Facebook group. Join, we'll talk. It'll be great!

Sterling Pingree