White Hat Sports Headlines

Monday, June 16, 2008

Jogging Diary: NBA Finals Edition

The Sox won today, the US Open is coming down to the final shot, and the potential last game of a Celtic’s-Lakers NBA Finals is tonight. Plus, there is a decent baseball game on ESPN. This calls for an impromptu Jogging Diary. As always, thanks to Bill Simmons for the idea.

8:49 pm: Both Tiger and Lee Westwood are on putts to tie them with Rocco Mediate. Westwood just missed it, now its Tigers turn. Should be interesting to see what Tiger does. I say he misses it, but if anyone can make it it’s Tiger. He’s taking a long time setting this putt up, and the announcers are all whispering. I’ve never understood that. They are far enough away that no golfer could hear them unless they were yelling, even then they probably couldn’t. No need to whisper.

8:53 pm: Tiger makes it, and then humps the air repeatedly. The knee looked fine on that hump; apparently his sex life is still fine. The announcer just said it will be Rocco and Tiger for 18 holes tomorrow. Rocco watching says “Unbelievable, I knew he’d make it.” No actually Rocco, it isn’t unbelievable if you knew he would make it. That would make it believable. Now what I don’t understand is why they don’t just start playing playoff holes right now, first guy to lose a hole looses. Oh well, time for basketball.

9:00 pm: Has anyone read the article that John Hollinger wrote stating that Dwayne Wade is the best player ever in the Finals? Could anything be more ridiculous? Michael Jordan is, and always will be, the best player ever, regular season and Finals. If you wanted to say something like Dwayne Wade and the NBA refs were the best player ever in the Finals, then I’ll talk to you. But to just say Dwayne Wade was the best Finals player ever is probably very offensive to the refs that helped him so much. They deserve credit too.

9:05 pm: I wonder who will be with Jack tonight. The blond girl he had with him for game 3 was hot, not sure he could top her, but if anyone can do it it’s him.

9:13 pm: I’ve already seen five travels. At this rate we could travel from here in Maine to Mexico by the end of the game. Boom Boom CHHHHH. Lame I know.

9:18 pm: Lakers up 18-5. Black Mamba (Kobe) is happy right now, high fiving his teammates. Give him ten minutes till Pau Gasol has a pass go off his hands. Still not buying Kobe as a team player, and loved that Curt Schilling called him out on it. The guy has been, and always will be, an asshole. Still a great player, but that can only take you so far. You need to have your teammates behind you, and they haven’t been this consistently this series.

9:23 pm: Kobe’s got 14 already. This could be one of those games where he just takes over. I thought before hand it would come back to Boston, and if he does that and puts up 50+ they probably will.

9:25 pm: Jeff Van Gundy just brought up the fact that the fans in LA still chant MVP and that he already won it, they don’t need to. I wasn’t going to bring it up because Bill Simmons already did, but since Van Gundy said something I guess I can. Fans in LA have no idea what they are doing, it’s that simple.

9:42 pm: This series is over, Chris Mihm just came in. Lakers will win the series now for sure. The announcers on Mihm; “This is the first playing time Mihm has gotten the entire playoffs,” “ He can shoot, score, he’s bigger than people think, he is good he just got slowed by injury,” “Mihm is a good player.” Clearly Bill Walton gave them something to smoke before the game. The only way this could be better is if Brian Scalabrine came in to guard Mihm. That would be amazing.

9:44 pm: Vujacic just tackled Posey out of bounds going for a loose ball and the ref gave the Lakers the ball back. I’m starting to hate him as much as Manu Ginobili. Oh, and Mihm just airballed his first shot then committed his second foul. Van Gundy “I wonder if when Phil yelled “MIhm” Mihm yelled back “Who?”.

9:47 pm: “High gas prices. Love em, hate em? Next caller.” I wish I knew that guys number in that commercial. Who the hell actually is enjoying the high gas prices? Well, besides the oil speculators driving them while laughing their way to the bank. By the way, if you don’t think our government is screwing most of us over, consider this; World leaders at the global hunger summit dine on puff pastries with corn and mozzarella, pasta with pumpkin and shrimp, rolls of thinly sliced veal, cheese mousse, parmesan risotto, lemon mousse with raspberry sauce, and white wine. This is at a global hunger crisis summit. Seriously. Here is the link.

10:00 pm: They just showed a replay of Kobe throwing a pass to no one then yelling at Gasol for not getting there. May I remind you I predicted that earlier in this post? By the way, the score is now 43-39 LA.

10:03 pm: Sam Cassell is the black hole of basketball at this point. He gets the ball and he shoots it. I think they would be better off playing 4 on 5 than let him play, yet they continue to let him shoot.

10:05 pm: Before I admit this, let me just say I HATE cheap beers. I like Magic Hat, Sam Adams, and I can deal with Corona. That being said, I do like the Bud Light Lime. It’s decent tasting, and it is pretty cheap at this point.

10:12 pm: Well, Jack has an old ugly guy with a Lakers jersey and ridiculous hat next to him. I guess that solves the issue of hottest person with him sideline. You win blond girl from game 3. Good to see Ms. Swan from Mad TV has been at all the games sitting next to Jack as well.

10:16 pm: 55-52 at the half. If it goes over 100 in regulation Lakers win, if it is under the Celts win. I’m calling it now. I’m going to switch over to the Braves-Angels game; I’ll give you something about that after I take a quick break.

10:39 pm: The Braves-Angels game was over when I got to is, so nothing to talk about. Time for the second half.

10:46 pm: I’m pretty sure Gasol was just wafting a fart. Seriously, he was waving his hands in a fanning motion towards his face, then they zoomed in on his face and it looked like he shit his pants. I can’t think of any other reason for that series of events.

10:48 pm: Another close up of Gasol. Apparently his face always looks like that. My bad Pau, I shouldn’t have judged you for your extremely ugly looking face.

10:55 pm: Derek Fisher has to be the luckiest player ever. He just got knocked down on a terrible heave, and not only does he get the foul but he also has the ball somehow go off the glass and in. It seems like every year he has that play. Now Radmonovic nails a three and it’s a seven point game.

11:05 pm: Sam Cassell has been in for about a minute and has taken 3 shots. He actually made one of the three. If we were playing baseball that would be fantastic; in basketball not so much.

11:12 pm: Lakers leading by nine going into the fourth. They are on pace to just top 100. Celtics need to slow it down, the game is starting to become faster paced and they can’t afford to have that happen, especially with Rondo out.

11:19 pm: The Yukon commercial is one of the worst commercials I have ever seen. The guy is annoying as hell, and he is talking to someone inside the vehicle that no one knows. Well, I think we all know it’s Dwayne Wade doing yet another commercial, but they don’t show it. They were probably too cheap to actually get Wade, so they faked it all.

11:27 pm: Doc is finally playing the lineup of House, Posey, Allen, Pierce and Garnett, but it’s probably 3 minutes too late.

11:30 pm: Sam Cassell just won’t stop shooting, only right now he’s made a couple. Interesting. And now the NBA has been pre-empted for…Seinfeld re-runs. Don’t get me wrong, I love Seinfeld, but that is unacceptable. Good thing I work for ABC and know who to call to get it fixed quickly. We almost had a newer version of the Heidi game.

11:42 pm: 92-91. Anyone’s game right now. Kobe has not done anything since the first quarter.

11:52 pm: Garnett misses his last three free throws. He is quietly showing people why he has never won in the playoffs, only they are winning in spite of his choking. At some point he needs to come through though.

11:56 pm: Black Mamba steals the ball without even touching it. He does however manage to hack Pierce pretty badly and not get called for it. I AM SO SICK OF THESE YUKON COMMERCIALS. They play them all the time and they suck.

12:02 pm: Lakers hit 100. I called that the ballgame over point earlier and I’ll stick to it here. This one will be going back to Boston.

12:07 pm: Ballgame over. 103-98. Couldn’t have called it more perfectly at halftime. You better believe I’ll be looking to tickets to game 6.

~Aaron Jackson

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