White Hat Sports Headlines

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

The First Red Sox Jogging Diary

Coming live from the home of Sterling, we bring you my interpretation of, the Ultimate Red Sox Show? Oh that’s right, because every Red Sox game here in the last week has to have at the very least a 15 minute rain delay before it, because we are in the midst of the longest storm of the century this decade. And what a shame it is, it’s raining on Jerry Remy Day? Are you kidding me? Is there no God?
While I hear the same stats from Hazel Maye about the great Bob Kurtz, let me get you up to speed on what we’ve seen in the pre-game show tonight.
They had short clips of celebrities telling Remy how much they admire him and congratulating him 20 years with NESN. Oh yeah, Ben Affleck was on there too.
(Did you see what I did there, that was a joke about Ben Affleck).

This jogging diary almost didn’t happen for tonight, my heart just wasn’t in it, but it was either do tonight’s game, or do tomorrow night’s game which matches up Randy Johnson (44) and Tim Wakefield (41). I would do tomorrow night’s game, but there is a Perry Mason special on I just can’t miss.

7:20pm Don O. is on the field introducing a group of people who have worked for NESN while Remy has been there. What? They didn’t bring back the illustrious Bob Rodgers? Very good to see Sean McDonough back at the Fens.

7:23pm A nice grouping of former players on hand, Rick Burleson, Dwight Evans, Jim Rice, Carlton Fisk, Dennis Eckersley and HOLY SHIT. One of Remy’s sons looks like a guy from My New Haircut video, but a bit more over the top if you can imagine that.

7:26pm Jerry Remy just invented the word histerious.

7:27pm I miss Bob Kurtz and Sean McDonough.

7:29pm Apparently Remy calling Carl Crawford’s steal of home is the NESN equivalent of Babe Ruth calling his shot. Things you don’t know until they honor somebody on the field.

7:32pm Remy thanks his wife for her support of 30 years, her reaction is to flirt with Carlton Fisk some more. This is a special night.
Masterson vs. Davis, NEXT
For the sake of myself, I’m going to jog by half inning instead of the time, that will only happen if somebody takes a ball off the eye during mid-inning warm ups. That never happens, wink wink Youk.

Top of the 1st, Masterson sits the Snakes down in order. By the way, why is nobody talking about how good Justin Masterson is? I just feel like nobody outside of NESN and the Nation are talking about how good this kid is. He is 4-1 with an ERA right on 3.00. If this was Joba Chamberlain’s line, Job would be engraved on the Cy Young award already.

Bottom of the 1st In honor of Jerry Remy Day, current Red Sox second basemen, The American Dream Dustin Pedroia slams one into the monster seats. The parallel is lost on both Don and Jerry as neither of them recognizes that Remy played 2nd base. The immortally hot JD Drew grounds out, followed by back to back singles from Manny and Lowell leaving it up to the struggling Captain. Tek drills the ball off Doug Davis and of course with his luck the ricochet goes directly to Stephen Drew at short and Tek is gunned out at first.
In the words of the immortal Jerry Reed, “When you’re hot you hot, when you’re not you not.”

8:00pm Just saw Conan O’Brien say congratulations to Remy, one question. What the hell is up with his hair? Joining Remy and Don in the both is Walt Hriniak. Good guy, definitely not long winded though.

Top of the 2nd. Masterson yields a lead off single to Conor Jackson which leads to shot of Lee Tinsley just looking irritated at having to wear a helmet. Hriniak just told Don that Jerry is a tap dancer. Jerry quickly changes the subject. Jackson steals second on the bobble at the bag by Julio Lugo. How rough a season is Julio Lugo having right now? He boxed a routine line drive up the middle last night, tonight he can’t take the throw from the catcher. I defiantely don’t see him back next season.
Chad Tracy strikes out, but then gets new life when a foul tip is called, replay shows no foul tip. Of course this is followed up by Tracy ripping a single to right center tying the game up. This just has to happen, it’s a rule in the American League.
Masterson having a bit of wildness, walks Ojeda, then falls behind Salazar before he drives on to the bullpen wall that Drew is able to keep in the yard. The Diary almost went up in flames right there, thank god for JD Drew.
(That last phrase has never been said more than it has in Boston the last 2 weeks). Masterson strikes out Chris Snyder and the threat is over. Tied up 1-1.

Bottom of the 2nd. Youkilis is out tonight because his eye is very watery. Not because it swollen or anything but because it’s really watery. I’m avoiding the joke right now about someone being on the disabled list because they couldn’t stop crying. Mainly because Youkilis would snap if he read it, so we’ll just move on.
SHHH. Jacoby Ellsbury’s up, I’ve got to focus in on what’s going on. You never know what could happen when this guy’s up. He could hit an inside the park home run, he could steal two bases on one throw or he could break land speed records you just never know. This time however he strands Coco at second by grounding out to end the inning.

Top of the 3rd
Ground out, strike out……Bob Kurtz has his finger stuck in his eye? Then a single for O-Dawg, Orlando Hudson and Remy seems upset that somebody else has a name with Dawg in it. Let’s keep him away from Snoop.
Masterson walks Conor Jackson, starting to worry about this one. The hitters look a little over matched right now. Until Chad Tracy takes the next pitch out of the ballpark for a three run homer. 4-1 Snakes.
Bottom of the 3rd.
Mayor Menino now goes up to the booth and right away goes into doing material. I swear all Mayor Menino does is go to Fenway and ride in parades, the guy has the life I’m telling you. I’m going to run for Mayor of someplace someday. Some place with good sports teams. Any ideas leave them as comments under this column. Other than this, a quiet inning, Sox go down in order.

Top of the 4th.
A shot of the Remy family up in a Suite, shows the muscled up and that’s being nice, son. Jerry tells Don he can rent him out as a body guard if he wants to. I think he’s serious. Tom Werner and John Henry come up to the booth now, and both are ragging on Remy for wearing a Tommy Bahama shirt. Side note, John Henry is dressed to the 9’s, it’s like a suite but more fancy some how.
My dad says, “He’s dressed up”.
I say, “He’s a billionaire, he can afford it.” I sound like Morty Seinfeld over here.
Inning over, wait, Werner and Henry are gonna roast Remy. Pretty good top 10 list of reasons they had Jerry Remy day.
The numbers 5 reason, “We didn’t give one to Hazel Mae and look how that turned out”

Bottom of the 4th
Lowell walked, Tek hit into a DP. Great inning, I’m starting to rethink doing this tomorrow night would be better. At this point I’m just praying for Lenny Clarke to show up. He can’t save this Jogging Diary, but he could save this game.

Top of the 5th,
Rick Burleson is back! One of my favorite sox players is at the ballpark for the first time since about 2002. Masterson intentionally walks Chad Tracy, leading to an inning ending double play. Well thought out, Tito. That’s how it works in the movies.

Bottom of the 5th.
Renee Russo is now calling the booth. Don Orsillo is noticeably blushing on the booth. Don even waves when she says that she loves him. Most notable thing that happens this inning as the bottom of the Sox line up continues to provide no punch. Ellsbury grounds out, even he is looking lackluster, these short rain delays to start the games I think are really wearing the team down. They aren’t dealing with these well, think of it this way, going into tonight they have only won one of these last 4 games that had rain delay’s.

Top of the 6th.
Masterson cruises to two outs before yielding a hit to number 9 hitter Chris Snyder. Things like this are what kill pitch counts for young guys like this, closing out innings are tough. Now Masterson is getting a little wild to Eric Byrnes, falling behind 3-0. Masterson works very well from the full wind up, has a little trouble from the stretch. This is a problem that I feel that a lot of the Sox pitching prospects have had. Lester, Buchholz have both worked better from the full wind up instead of from the stretch. With their success throughout their entire life, I would be willing to bet none of them have had to throw a lot from the stretch. I think I’m onto something, Byrnes grounds out to end the inning. Now the Sox need to start to make a move and chip into this lead if they are going to do it tonight.

Bottom of the 6th.
Bob Kurtz comes up to the booth and he and Jerry proceed to tell inside jokes and stories for the full half inning while Don stands there and has the smile of the guy who doesn’t know what’s going on. Manny hits a two out single and the inning ends two pitches later when Lowell grounds out to short. Don rushes Kurtz out of the booth.

Top of the 7th.
Chris Smith has now come into the game, don’t ask him what he throws though, because he won’t tell you. If Cal Naughton Jr, is the Magic Man, then Chris Smith is the Mystery Man. LENNY CLARKE IS IN THE BOOTH.
Mystery Man gets out of the inning, I’m now drying my eyes, because Lenny Clarke just had me crying. That guy needs to come on once a game at least, who wouldn’t love that? I’m gonna put this on my idea for the HBO Game of the Week.

Bottom of the 7th.

Top of the 8th.

Bottom of the 8th.
Lugo hits a lead off single, 3rd hit I believe since Pedroia’s home run in the first inning.
Single now for Jacoby Ellsbury. In the words of Harry Doyle, “And the Sox have something going”.
Davis is gone, Snakes go to the pen for the first time tonight.
The American Dream is battling Chad Qualls right now, who’s slider Jerry just compared to Craig Hansen. You know he’s made it when Jerry says something like that. I’m just so proud of one of my Acolytes of Hope has made the big time.
Single by the Dream scores Lugo, 4-2, and still two on and nobody out with JD Drew coming to the plate. Drew is starting to show signs of slowing down. Drew goes down swinging setting up an inevitable Manny double play.
I predicted that before his at-bat, but thank goodness Augie Ojeda didn’t get the memo and bobbled the ball and could only get Manny going to first. I would intentionally walk Lowell here and pitch to Moss with first base open. Lowell last season had more singles with men in scoring position than anybody in Baseball.
Lowell delivers by doubling off the monster, game is tied 4-4.
Tek drills a hanging slider into right field to plate the go ahead run. Orsillo knows how big Jerry Remy Night is, you can hear it in his voice.
Cinco Ocho is warming up in the pen, Youkilis is begging to get into the game as a defensive replacement, Moss drills a single into right field and Francona celebrates by blowing a snot rocket into his hand.
Tony Pena enters; Coco Crisp pops out to end the inning. Side note that I heard earlier today, the Red Sox have already had more DL moves this year than they had all of last season. I guess I have to feel good about the fact that they are in first place with that statistic. Because law of averages shows that they shouldn’t have that many down the stretch in the second half. As you can tell I’m just praying Papelbon can nail this one down.
Youkilis is now into the game as a defensive replacement at first base. Guy’s just tough!

Top of the 9th.
9. Chris Snyder
Foul ball (1-2)
Strike 3 swinging, 1 out
1.Eric Byrnes
Foul Ball (0-2)
Ball (Slider)
Foul Ball (sitting dead red on a fastball and was way in front of 96mph head)
Foul Ball (1-2)
Ball (Outside with a fastball, 2-2)
Ball (Splitter in the dirt count runs full. When people have long at bats against Paps it makes me nervous.
Foul ball, (Byrnes way out in front of it again. He is way out on the fastball, go off speed.)
Ball four. Byrnes walks, tying run on base.
It seems like the approach to Papelbon is to sit on the fastball now. We are seeing it with more and more teams, sit on the fastball and look for offspeed once the count evens up.
2. Drew
Strike (Drew behind the fastball high and away. Paps is having a better time with lefties this season.)
Close pick off throw at first, Paps has an underrated move, ask Matt Holliday.
Foul Ball (0-2, Drew is at Papelbon’s mercy now, if he has any.)
Swing and a miss strike 3, 2 outs.
3. Orlando Hudson
Another pick off throw by Papelbon, not something we see a lot of out of the big guy. Obviously this is something they have been talking about between appearances, because the Snakes don’t run much though they do have speed in the lineup
Foul Ball, down the left field line. (0-1)
Ball, misses high with a fastball.
Don Orsillo is now bringing up painful memories of Papelbon’s blown save on Sunday, Thanks Don.
Ground ball to third, Lowell throws onto Youkilis and the Sox take game 2 of the World Series Preview, Series.

A real nice win for the Sox and on Jerry Remy Night nonetheless. Time for me to hit the showers, put on some Icy Hot and get ready for tomorrow game. Get ready for Jackson’s Jogging Diary of the NBA Draft on Thursday.

Sterling Pingree

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